So many types of printing! How do I tell the difference?
Letterpress: In existence since the 1400's, letterpress is staging a comeback as antique presses are brought to life by small artisan shops across the country. Inked type is firmly pressed into thick paper (likely Somerset or Crane's Lettra). A richly debossed image is created and remains a most distinguished method of sending a formal message. View an example.
Blind Debossing: Letterpress without ink. This is most often used for borders and embellishment.
Engraving: The gold standard -- a sign of true luxury because of the immense labor involved. A negative image and positive counter are produced using a copper plate etched either by hand or with chemicals. Paper is firmly pressed with force by the counter into the plate where subsurfaces are filled with ink. Raised lettering results, and details are exquisitely fine. The telltale sign of real engraving is the slightly "bruised" impression on the back. Sound complicated? It is. Very few printers still offer classic engraving.
Blind Embossing: Similar to engraving, but without ink. Think braille. This results in raised lettering which is often used for monograms or names on simple correspondence cards.
Laser Engraving: A very rare process. Special cardstock is etched by a laser to reveal a darker inner core. Usually a white card will be laser engraved to unveil black or navy text. The result is similar to letterpress but with extremely detailed cuts.
Thermography: The most prevalent method used for today's wedding invitations and personal stationery. Achieved by sprinkling resin onto a freshly printed sheet while the ink is still wet. The excess is blown away, and the sheet is then subjected to heat. The resin and ink fuse, creating a slightly raised print. The result looks and feels quite similar to classic engraving but is offered at a more reasonable price point.
My handwriting isn't the best. Can I use labels? Please?
Repeat after me: thou shalt not address thy envelopes with Times New Roman 12 pt font on Avery 5160 labels. This is a controversial topic amongst designers, and the answer often depends on the formality of your event. In the case of a formal wedding or social occasion, handwritten addresses are the norm. If you don't like your own penmanship, consider enlisting a calligrapher, crafty friend, or your stationery designer. If the event is slightly less formal, addresses could be printed directly on the envelopes in a coordinating font. For very modern or informal events, labels may be used. However, I urge you to avoid the typical 30-to-a-sheet inkjet labels lest your invitation be mistaken for junk mail. Instead, consider stylish wrap-labels or a colorful, custom design incorporating elements from your invitation. Please ask to see samples for inspiration.
My cousin's neighbor is sponsoring my wedding, and my dentist is giving me away. How do I word that?
Get thee to the local library and search Emily Post or Judith Martin (Miss Manners). Bring home a wedding etiquette book (which doubles nicely as a hand-weight for toning the arms), and take advice from the experts. In a pinch, visit Verse It for drop-down menus filled with fantastic (and often very specific) suggestions.
How do I tastefully include boyfriends, girlfriends, and "it's complicated" people on my invitations?
Invited guests who are married, engaged, or living with their partner should be invited as a couple. Send invitations by household. Those who live together will receive one invitation sent to their shared address. Those who are engaged or a long-standing couple but living separately should both receive individual invitations at their respective addresses. For single guests, it is considerate but not required to allow dates. If you intend to invite dates, address envelopes to your single friends adding "and Guest."
I'm getting married on Staniel Cay, a remote little island in the Exumas. It requires several flights plus a float plane to reach, and I know many of my friends and family members won't possibly attend. What do I do?
I'm a fan of having a small destination event and then hosting a party at home for those who couldn't travel. If you plan to do this, send a Save the Date showing the destination location and date along with the party location and date. Then send more formal, detailed invitations 6-8 weeks in advance, giving guests the option to RSVP for one or both celebrations.
Another option is to send a wedding announcement to those who can't be expected to attend your actual celebration. Announcements carry no gift obligation and simply share the news, and they are perfect for distant acquaintances.
To avoid hurting the feelings of close friends and family who might not attend but wish to feel included, err on the side of sending actual invitations. They can easily choose to RSVP "no," but they'll appreciate the gesture.
When my sister got married, she kept receiving RSVP cards with just 1 or 2 listed. People forgot to write their names. How will I know who's actually attending my event?
Assign each invited guest a number, and lightly mark the back of their RSVP card with that number. Should they forget to include their names, you can easily match the card to the guest.
I'm deeply committed to saving the planet. Can I skip printed wedding invitations and go for e-vites instead?
You are free to make any decision you choose. After all, it's your day! However, might I suggest another option? For very informal soirees like impromptu dinner parties, e-vites are sometimes a useful approach. For weddings, please consider other eco-friendly choices. I carry a number of styles which incorporate recycled papers, tree-free papers, soy inks, and seed inlaid papers which grow wild flowers when planted. Let's save the planet together, and still make your invitation a beautiful presentation.
How do I incorporate charities into my event?
One of my favorite ways of turning your wedding or social event into a random act of kindness is to arrange to donate remainders. Leftover meals may be delivered to homeless shelters and food pantries. Check with your caterer or venue for details. Floral arrangements can be sent to retirement communities to cheer up residents. Extra decor supplies might be forwarded to local arts programs. In lieu of favors, consider donating to an agreed-upon charitable organization and presenting guests with a special note designating the contribution. Depending on the formality of your event and/or your budget, consider asking guests to bring toys for a children's program or canned goods in the place of gifts.
Should I include my registry information on my invitations?
It is not considered proper to include the registry info anywhere on, in, or around your wedding invitation. Instead, I suggest adding this information to your wedding website in a tasteful manner or asking your mother, maid of honor, and/or or shower hostess to make the registry details readily available for guests.
Although it is not acceptable to place the registry details on the actual shower invitation either, you can include it on a separate slip in the envelope. For example, the shower invitation itself can carry the theme, date, location, etc. The separate slip can designate your registry details, preferred colors, etc.
May I invite people to my shower who aren't invited to the wedding?
In a word, no. Let me tell you a story to illustrate why. My friend was once invited to a "couples shower" but not the actual wedding. He was an acquaintance to the bride, a friend-of-a-friend. He attended the shower and brought a very nice gift. Five days later, he received a wedding invitation. It was quite clear he'd been invited to the wedding on the basis of his generous shower gift in hopes he might bring another great gift to the reception. Imagine how this made my friend feel.
Showers, according to Emily Post, are intimate gatherings designed to celebrate with people you know well. They are not excuses to haul in lots of gifts. Always invite shower guests to the actual wedding. The only exception to this rule is a workplace shower organized by someone other than you.
